Happy New Year! Or is it? Did you have deep, heart-warming conversations with family and friends over the holidays? Did everyone agree on everything? Hope so.

Or did you argue about the big issues polarizing the country — politics, race, abortion, immigration, inflation, gender, education, religion, crime, homelessness, foreign policy or other hot topics? Did anyone stomp out of the room and refuse to talk to you any more? Hope not.

In a recent column, I offered “table-talk tips” for holiday gatherings. I listed “Green Light, Yellow Light, and Red Light” topics that were safe, risky, or incendiary. In another column, I half-jokingly suggested that one way to alleviate tension was to “switch sides” and argue the position opposite to your actual beliefs. High-school debaters must be prepared to argue both sides, so why not contending adults? Did anyone try that? I didn’t think so.

As a smarty-pants, know-it-all newspaper columnist, did I take my own advice? Well, not exactly.

At a Christmas Eve dinner, several of our family and friends got into an intense conversation about DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion). That’s the widespread policy that tries to make government, companies and nonprofits favor what proponents call historically underrepresented minority groups – especially people of color, different sexual preferences, gender identities, etc. — move more into the mainstream of American life.

We began by discussing the long history of affirmative action and how it had affected our own lives and careers. Some of us straight white males recounted how we had not gotten jobs or promotions partly because minorities or females were hired instead. One man was pressured to hire a Black female who was clearly not qualified for the position, and when he declined, she threatened to sue the company. Another was labeled a “privileged white supremacist” in a mandatory corporate “consciousness-raising” session. I related how I had been called “old, white, ignorant, uneducated and probably racist” in an open Zoom meeting when I questioned calling America “systemically racist.” We all acknowledged the good intentions of DEI efforts, but noted their unintended consequences. Some said the policy needed rethinking, while others said it should be continued.

The very next day, I came across a Wall Street Journal article headlined: “They Helped Create DEI – and Even They Say It Needs a Makeover.” It said that support for DEI was fading nationwide, especially in the wake of a 2023 Supreme Court decision (Students for Fair Admissions vs. Harvard) that made it unlawful for colleges and universities to consider race as a specific factor in admissions.

I posted the piece on my Facebook page, which set off a vigorous debate online. Thankfully, I have Facebook friends on all sides of the map – geographically, ideologically, racially, politically, educationally, sexually, economically, spiritually, generationally and culturally. Many of them weighed in with strong opinions on DEI, both pro and con. The back-and-forth comments were thoughtful and enlightening, without name-calling or snarky insults. That’s always my goal for online debates, and my friends respect that. Well, most of them.

I love a robust debate. I spent 50-plus years in journalism as a reporter, editorial writer, columnist and media critic, arguing different sides of controversial issues. The discussions on my Facebook page are as informed, thorough and respectful as any I ever had on editorial boards or in public panel discussions. The internet has its faults, but if used right, it can be informative and constructive. If you’re on Facebook, go to my page and you can read the exchanges. Feel free to weigh in.

A few days later, The Wall Street Journal ran a front-page story headlined: “Battle Over DEI Set To Intensify in 2025.” This article described how President-elect Donald Trump is “gearing up to end DEI” in dozens of government and business programs. It noted how many corporations that had previously adopted aggressive DEI policies are now eliminating entire departments, laying off consultants and cutting spending on these efforts. Many colleges and universities nationwide are doing the same thing.

However, it is clear that some companies and schools are sticking with their programs and seeking ways to implement DEI despite Trump and the Supreme Court. Costco’s board of directors recently said it would stand by its DEI policies, while other firms including Boeing, Walmart and Microsoft are backing off.

Clearly the great debate over DEI isn’t over and will likely intensify in 2025. Inauguration Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day both fall on Jan. 20 this year. And Jan. 21 has been designated as a “National Day of Racial Healing.” So here’s a fabulous opportunity for a vigorous national discussion.

I remain optimistic and confident that America and our institutions are strong enough to find common-ground solutions. I reject predictions that America is hopelessly divided and will break apart, or that we are headed toward authoritarian fascism. I have more faith in Americans than that. Despite our differences — or maybe because of them — I believe this is still the greatest country in the world, and it’s why so many people want to come here.

Millions of good people are doing good things in their neighborhoods, communities, schools, churches, businesses, corporations, nonprofits, and yes, governments at local, state and national levels. Don’t despair. We all can do something to move the needle.

Meanwhile, keep engaging with your family, friends and neighbors, and even to strangers online. Don’t avoid hot topics like DEI just because you have different views.

Just try to keep it civil. I have always said that debate is what makes America great. If you disagree, let me know. Letters to the editor, emails and Facebook posts are all welcome.

But don’t just talk the talk. Walk the walk. Reach out. Volunteer. Donate. Help those in need. Listen more. Judge less. Be kinder and gentler. Get involved. Love your neighbor. Follow the Golden Rule. Everyone can do something to move the needle. We’re Americans. We can do this. Can’t we?

John Hamer is a former editorial writer and columnist for The Seattle Times who has lived on Mercer Island for 25 years. He went to his first civil-rights demonstration in 1963, inspired by Martin Luther King Jr. He is now working to make all MI playgrounds accessible and inclusive to disabled children and aging seniors like himself. He is an active member of MI Rotary.