Mercer Island High School (MIHS) junior Nick Kangas had a crucial message to relay while representing the school’s Queer Straight Alliance at the “Understanding the Needs of Transgender Youth” presentation on Oct. 10.
“It’s just that trans youth exist and we’re not going anywhere and our existence is just not a debate. There’s facts that we’re here and we’re going to stay here no matter what happens in the future,” said Kangas, who identifies as agender and uses the pronouns they/she/he.
During the community conversation led by Aidan Key — a transgender educator, author and speaker — Kangas added that the alliance is a safe space on campus as they provided personal thoughts and answered questions. About 25 attendees, including parents of transgender children, gathered in the school library for the nearly two-hour event.
Key, the founder and director of Gender Diversity, said there’s still much to be learned in the transgender realm, and people will grasp the knowledge together over time.
“When the broader society gets the memo that sexuality is a distinct component of who we are — distinct from gender identity — then I’ll be looking for another job. We don’t have that understanding. They’re still so interwoven together that to me, and what I’ve observed, that’s what causes so much significant distress,” said Key, who has penned the book “Trans Children in Today’s Schools” and served as a consultant to hundreds of K-12 schools and youth-based agencies across the nation.
The Mercer Island School District invited Key to discuss creating a more inclusive learning environment for students and he was grateful for the opportunity to share his experiences and help make a difference in peoples’ lives. On Oct. 11, Key also provided training for MIHS and Islander Middle School staff.
Key recalled a story about when one school arranged a classroom conversation for a child to share that he’s transgender. Key said it would take some practice for students and teachers to use a different pronoun when referring to their classmate, and they may slip up along the way and need to make some corrections and give reminders to each other.
“What I want when we talk about gender identity, if a teacher is sitting down with a group of kids (perhaps reading Michael Hall’s ‘Red: A Crayon’s Story’ or another book) is that you just bring in that piece about gender identity as a factor of who we are on the inside that isn’t necessarily evident by how people see us on the outside,” Key said.
Parents at the event said that they need to advocate for themselves, their medical provider and what’s best for their family. It also helps to talk with other parents of transgender children for support and locate resources in taking each step in their families’ lives, Key said.
Key and Kangas said it’s important for adults to love, listen to and support their children along the journey — whether it’s a gender exploration phase or not.
Mercer Island’s Melissa Benaroya, whose son Devon is transgender, said it was a big deal when the MIHS class of 2022 chose Devon to be the senior speaker at the graduation ceremony at the accesso ShoWare Center in Kent.
“I thought that said a lot about the student community here and it being a really safe, accepting place,” Benaroya said.
MIHS Associate Principal Erica Hill was thrilled to welcome Key to the school community to give his presentation.
“Aidan is an educator, speaker, author, truth teller, friend, leader, and so courageous. He is absolutely a game changer and I feel so lucky to know this man and am very excited for you all to get to experience this tonight,” Hill said.
